It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
