I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
