After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
