Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize