I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
