He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
