He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
