I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
