Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
