dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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