I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
