Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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