IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
