okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
