i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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