YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
