Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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