if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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