Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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