I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
