There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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