There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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