so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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