Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
