would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
