i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
