my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
