But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
