Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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