We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize