Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
