It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
