You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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