Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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