Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
