The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
