And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
