But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
