Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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