you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
