Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
