This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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