I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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