ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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