She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We are two peas in an std pod
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
