Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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