it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
