I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
