What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
