grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
