Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize