dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The dick lei will go down in squad history
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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