Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize