I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
