she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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