sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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