i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
