Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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