Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
