I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All the doctor said was why
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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