she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
