To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
