so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
worst night to have a conscience
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
