nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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